Skunks!

At about 1am in the morning the other night, our house got stink bombed by skunks who were living in the crawlspace underneath. The odor took about 30 seconds to completely engulf the house and drive us from it retching and gagging. The smell is so terrible you can't imagine. It's like imagine that someone farts right into or inside your nose and forces you to smell it and then just keeps eternally farting in your face so that each time you breathe to get air you're just taking in more stench and you feel like you're going to drown in stink. That's kind of what this was like. Not only that, but unlike general stink which just roils around and then goes away as the particles are carried away by the air, skunk musk oils are carried everywhere by the air and then settle and adhere to surfaces so that the stench keeps on giving day after day, reminding you that you live inside a skunks rear end and that all your stuff is tainted with it's musk. We ended up going to the Nam (the only restaurant open) and eating miso fries and drinking tea in the corner because we stunk like skunks. The worst part is that was over a week ago and our house still stinks and the skunk is still down there laughing at us. I was coming home from work the other night and I saw the skunk, skunking around the outside of the house. When it saw me it darted back underneath probably to birth spawn with musk sacs of their own to spray me with. Something has to be done!