Being Healthy is work!

OK, I've been bagging groceries like a madman lately. And maybe it's driving me mad. It's the post-Christmas eating depression season. At my work we have a lot of healthy food and healthy people who come through wanting to stay that way. I realize that people obsess over food and health more and more as they get older - myself included. It goes without saying I guess. Occasionally though, a health nut will pass through my register with a kid in tow going off on some tear about, "sugar" and "how candy will kill you" etc... I can understand the will not to have your kid bloat up and contract diabetes before 20 but, really, there's probably more sugar in Phad Thai than a coupla pieces of licorice. I mean, just cause you can't stomach the thought of eating candy, it's no crime to let a kid walk on the wild side from time to time is it? Don't worry - the child's probably going to outlive you even if they are bit unhealthy. That's my opinion at least, but according to the news reports children are all too fat now. Too much nutrition. Too many calories. Too much xbox. Not enough soccer, flax, and beet greens. Not enough piano practice, goats milk, and Colgrabi/quinoa stews! Too much Lexus, Kokanee, and Henessee. Too many text messages, cheese doodles, and you tube. Not enough Harrowsmith, engevita yeast and "pro-ganic" baby food! Well... I may have spawn of my own one day and find myself eating crow, but if I do have children one day, this blog or any of the diatribe therein will probably have been deleted or long since abandoned. Being healthy is so complicated.

I'm back

I've just beamed down.JPG
Originally uploaded by 2-way.

Well. I was in Maui, Hawaii for my grandma's 99th birthday recently. It was fun. She seems to be doing fairly well all things considered. My auntie threw a big party for her and she seemed pretty happy for most of the night. Basically, I've just put some pictures here to prove that I actually was there. The ocean was big blue and beautiful as always and the temperature was around 27 degreess the whole time so it was a nice respite from the cold climes of Vancouver. Me and my mother went walking through this park on the less inhabited part of the island where there were some relatively "fresh" lava rock fields. Pretty nice stuff if you can swing it. Thank god for jet travel

Means to an Ends

Cant quite get my head out of the clouds since New Years. The laundry piles up and the short-dated chicken in my fridge is stinking to high hell. The short walk to the coffee franchise yields a low cloudline view of the North Shore mountains still rimmed with snow. The whole city is painted in a hue of blue-greys. Something about all this always makes me want to wander back into bed or back in front of the computer which are both about equally productive these days. Unless bodily excretion counts as production - certainly not unless you're one of those creepy "collectors" in CSI hollywood killer plots. I'm pretty far from there yet thank god. "Low energy", is what someone in Vancouver would say. Maybe in Tokyo they say, "Lazy". In NYC I imagine they say, "irresponsible", but what do I know about what they say? Strings of January birthdays coming up including mine and plenty else to get excited about, but I still can't seem to boost myself in the mornings. On a more upbeat note, I'm going to Hawaii for a few days in January, so there's no reason to feel sorry for me or anything. Post when I get back.

HNY

Happy New Years to those few who read here. Let's hope aliens come down this year and fix everything. Maybe they can use their ET healing powers to resurrect the late, great James Brown. On the good side, I like my new apartment and am myself looking forward to good times after the 1st. If it sounds like I've got a lot to gripe about, believe me I don't. I'm going to Maui on Jan. 10th so feel free to call me up and tell me how full of it I am. Actually, don't do that. My Grandmother is turning 99 this January and while she's on the edge of becoming a centenarian, I feel I should be paying her a visit. She is after all, my single surviving grandparent. I've been bagging groceries like crazy over the Christmas holidays and I can't complain too much. At least I was out of the rain and employed. From a grocery baggers perspective, people in town seem kind of glum this Holiday Season. Low on cash, low on initiative, cynical about the future etc... Maybe I'm projecting but I've heard retail sales in the downtown shops were un-inspiring (if retail sales can be such a thing) so maybe people're hunkering down for some serious not having too much dough left over- times. Skip the ipods and motorcycles, a box of organic mandarins and all the Christmas cheer money can't buy should do. I had a great Christmas. My mother came to hang out for a week and it was made merrier by the presence of good company and friends. Chocolates were shared, mandarins were eaten, cheese plates passed, and no Christmas would've been complete without a Baked Sockeye Salmon. mmmm.... Well here's to being over the hump of short days and I wish everyone well in the New Year.

Jinga-ling ling jing a ling ling...

Christmas is coming and people seem to be getting into it- deep. Despite the weak US retail indicators on Wall Street or whatever, it seems people can't get enough of shopping on Main St and Robson. Bad job? Bad credit? Bad indicators? "Nuthin's gonna stop me from gettin my daughter a Ipod this christmas!" Seems to be the motto. I've been listening to a lot of modern Christmas Carols at work and in malls and everywhere even when the music's stopped it continues to circulate in my subconscious long after. Thank you Jesus! Thanks Father Christmas! With a big shout out to Maria Cary, David Bowie and George Michael who seem to be everywhere on the xmas Muzak scene which is an indicator to me that the whole Christmas spirit thing is kinda like Broadway Musicals - about 10 years behind on the cultural chic-o-metre. However, speaking of chic, being a fan of early Hip Hop I do like Kurtis Blow's seminal carol (there's two words not oft co-located), and ingeniously named, "Christmas Rappin" which seems to very closely echo one of my favorite disco tunes of all time: Chic's Good Times. Now that's a Christmas tune if I ever heard one. James Brown also produced a very very good Christmas album entitled "James Brown's Funky Christmas". ...and it is. - so... options are out there. Here's my Christmas advice, load up Good Times, crank the VOL, crack the Cuban rum, and bust a move on that 5 dollar-a-square-foot-per-month linoleum you've been squandering by cooking stir-frys alone waiting for "Lost" to come on. Do it, do it for St. Nick! Oh, and if you want some friends to come over, may as well invite them too; more's the merrier.

Winter Wonderland

Or did I mean to say, "boogie wonderland"? Many are staying indoors and with good reason. There is at least a half foot of frozen snow on the ground. For the throngs of Vancouvergoers who can't stand the thought of brewing their own coffee or for those like me who don't own a Mr Coffee and want to shell for the stuff down the street it's hazerdous. True the many who had the extra cash to buy the SUV of their teenage dreams a few years back before the gas prices made the rest of us douches wag our fingers and say "in your face - landrapers!", we are now recieving a counter wag in the face, a "coup-fouret" as the French like to say. This morning I was navigating the ice patches down the hill to a local coffee chain with a girl no less (my neighbor) and in my weathered, New Balance and low-cut wanna-be jeans when my feet went out from under me and I wiped out pretty spectacularly with my feet scrambling for control and then whammed straight down on my ass. Seeing people wipe out is usually pretty funny, especially when they're so unprepared for wiping out, but it still hurts. Especially when you imagine others watching you wipe out. Vancouver is definitely not well prepared for snow, but anyone who lives here knows, that - and it's a good thing. I'm not sure I could handle -30 degree winters every year, but that's me. Something about the tropics just calls to me. Maybe it's the warm weather, laid back lifestyle, or the abundance of fresh fruit. Or maybe it's just the warm weather. Apparently I'm not alone. And for all those of you who say, "Oh, I looove the snow and cold in the winter. I wouldn't have it any other way!" and then jet off to Acupulco for 2 weeks in January just when the gettins good; you can't handle it either. Admit it, snows fun for 1 month tops and then it starts to become a pain in the !##$##@ read, "my fucking" ass.

Rain

I'm not prepared for the weather of Canada. It's been terrible. It's rained pretty much every day in November and there's no sign of it stopping. It's dark, it's dank and every time I get on the bus some drippy person comes on with a stinking bag of McDonalds. Why is that?